Interview With John Wilkes Booth

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“Mr, Wilkes Booth, how to plan on following up your tremendous success portraying Duke Pescara in “The Apostate?”

“Oh, just you wait, asshole!”

Bob Marley

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

2AM.

He walked up to the counter. The fluorescent lights made the lady behind the register look dead.

He placed a can of Coca Cola and a can Mellow Mood Honey Green Tea Relaxation Drink right on front of her.

“I’m gonna drink ‘em both at the same time and see which one wins,” he said.

The lady behind the counter didn’t answer. She punched a few buttons,

“Three dollars and forty seven cents,” she said, finally.

He didn’t give a fuck. It was still a good joke.

Metallica

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

He borrowed the dude’s Walkman, which contained Ride The Lighting. He listened to it on the school bus ride all the way up to Worcester; field trip to the planetarium.

Turns out he loved the record. It was harder and more intense than the Foreigner shit Black Flag had been stumbling through.

No way he was apologizing to those dirtbags in shop class, though. Even though they had the right t-shirts.

Notes On HP Lovecraft

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

The interviewer turned on his tape recorder, an old reel-to-reel job.

“Tell me something about HP Lovecraft that would surprise me.”

“He was a big fan of Question Mark And The Mysterians.”

The interviewer turned off his tape recorder.

“You’re being a dick,” he said.

Schwinn

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

He would fill up the old plastic two-liter bottles with sand. They’d weight ten or fifteen pounds each. He’d tie them to the back of his bicycle, dragging them behind on a long length of nylon rope. He ride down the hill, fast as he could, swerving from one side of the road to the other, the two-liter bottle becoming an uncontrollable obstacle, slamming against the curbs.

He’d cackle. He was a strange kid, a skinny, stupid bull in a china shop who broke windows and shouted people down in conversation. He would also cry at the slightest indication of criticism, and he saw two shrinks.

He sped down the hill, dragging the bottle of sand behind him. It swung like a scythe.

It became lodged became two rocks, part of an expensive wall. He flew over the handlebars and lie there on the ground, crying until the ambulance came. Whoever bothered to call the paramedics hadn’t bothered to leave the house. The ambulance just showed up.

A few days later, he went door to door, arm in a sling, head bandaged, and explained to the neighbors how it was their fault that he had gotten injured.

Someone set his family’s garbage on fire a few times. They eventually moved.

Lord Randall

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

Lord Randall stumbled into the manor. His nose had been broken, and blood ran freely and untrammeled down the front of his dickie. There were black feathers in his hair, small ones, and on his face. Attached in the dried blood.

“Where have you been, Lord Randall, my son?” asked his mother.

“I was on the roof and I was attacked by crows.”

Career Counselor

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“Once I get out of jail, I’d like to become a stand up comedian.”

“Wait. You’re going to jail?”

“Yes. My sentencing is on Thursday.”

“What are you going to jail for?”

“Rape. I figure I can weave my experiences into my act.  Observational humor.”

“No. Talk about waiting in line in the DMV.”