Laugh, Laugh

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

In high school, Morrie used to tell everyone that his dad had been the drummer in The Beau Brummels.

Bullshit, I would say. Your dad drives the heating oil truck.

Turns out we were both right.

The Revenge Of Rhett Dickey

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“Every morning, I get up hoping that today will be the day I get to shoot somebody in the ass with my ass gun.”

“Hmmmmm… well, whatever. Anyway, this is mighty fine piece of property you’ve got here. Have you ever…”

POW!

“Ow! Jesus Christ, you just shot me in the ass!”

“Well, I gave you fair warning, didn’t I?”

Tet

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“How did daddy die?”

“He was in a bar, making fun of some guy who was wearing leotards and a blue ski mask. Turns out the guy was a big deal pro wrestler. Your father bet the guy that he could escape from any move. He said pro wrestling was bullshit. The guy put the abdominal claw on your dad, who kind of writhed around on the floor for a long time. Eventually, his pancreas burst. He died on the way to the hospital. The guy in the mask eventually won the tag team championship with Moondog Lonnie Mayne.”

“Uncle Ross said daddy died in Vietnam.”

“Ross isn’t really your uncle.”

The Curse Of The Painful Socks

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

Inspector Decq made a grand gesture!

“There is no gypsy curse,” he exclaimed!  “Someone had been filling Big Daddy’s socks with broken glass!”

The clever detective inverted the garment;  the remains of a wine glass fell onto the Persian rug.

“Who would do such a thing?” asked a lachrymose Vanessa.

“I suspect it was the person who had the most to gain from Big Daddy having injured feet!”

Carlsbad stood up from his wheelchair, and then collapsed immediately.

“Ow!” he ejaculated.

“Are you all right?” asked the Inspector.

“It was me!” Carlsbad tried to shout, his face buried in the Persian rug. “I just hated that fucker.”

 

Iggy Pop

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

He felt that by simply buying the record, he was committing a sin.  Later in life, wags would ask if it was “some weird sin.”  Clever.

He sister had not listened to ‘weird music,’ and neither had any of her friends.  The idea of felling anxious over buying a record would have been foreign to them.  In fact, it would never have crossed their minds.

He stared at the cover.  A shirtless, unwell, silver man against a deep brown background.  The back featured photos of the man and his assistants looking like criminals.  Looking like the older kids who hung around downtown.

He bought the record, and the angular woman behind the counter congratulated him on his taste.  No-one had ever done that before.  Of either sex.

He brought the record home.  Removing the vinyl from its sleeve, he saw a plain white dust sleeve, which made him all the more nervous.  The people at the record company didn’t seem aware of how strange their product was.

He put the record on the turntable, and flicked a few switches.  The needle dropped.  Immediately, Iggy Pop jumped out of the groove and chased him around the room.  His parents were so upset when they came home.  He had eaten all their food.