Sour Beer

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“Try the sour beer.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s right here. It’s an Italian beer. Interesting stuff.”

“Why is it called that?”

“What?”

“Sour beer.”

“Because it’s sour.”

“How is it sour?”

“It tastes sour. It’s tart.”

“The beer.”

“Yes.”

“Sour beer?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve never heard of that. Is it new?”

“No. Actually, it’s the earliest form of beer. All beer tasted sour before refrigeration.”

“Well, I don’t know if my husband will like that.”

“What does he like?”

“Well, he’s a drunk and an idiot.”

“Yes?”

“When I married him, he was attending Brown and claimed to know Richard Farina. Said he was writing a novel.”

“Turns out he was lying?”

“No. All of that was true. He just never amounted to anything. Now, he watches TV and corrects peoples’ pronunciation.”

“So you husband is a drunk and an idiot?”

“Yes.”

“What type of beer does he like?”

“Anything that comes in a brightly colored can that has pictures of dinosaurs on it.”

“How about a six pack of Drinky Drunky Pterodactyl?”

“Great.”

“Did he finish his novel?”

“Well, sort of. He worked on it for 11 years. Turns out he was just transcribing Going After Cacciato, word for word.”

“The Tim O’Brien book?”

“Yes. His friends from Brown loved it. His agent — at the time — threatened to sue him after reading it, though.”

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