Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.
Mom would sell rolling pins, every year, to help benefit the church group. They were high quality rolling pins, carved by Mennonites out in the midwest. Each one weighed about eleven pounds. You generally wouldn’t think of rolling pins as beautiful, but these things were weighty and impressive.
The church group was affiliated with The Lutherans.
One morning, Mom was over at Diane’s house. Diane’s husband, who had gone to Harvard, but had never actually held a job, and who made it a point to talk to people only when his mouth was full, asked Mom which type of Lutherans the church group represented. The International Lutheran Conference? The Confessional Evangelical Lutheran Conference, perhaps?
Diane’s husband was often interested in demonstrating that he was the best educated person in the room. Once, out of courtesy, Mom asked him to help fix the computer at the office. Diane’s husband quietly gave up after about an hour. Instead, he offered a long-winded explanation of how Microsoft’s business model was all wrong; he had repeatedly explained this to Bill Gates, who was a year behind him at Harvard.
Mom sarcastically told Diane’s husband that he was incorrect: the rolling pins weren’t affiliated with The Lutherans. Nope. All proceeds were going to The PLO. He didn’t know what to say about that.
A few days later, Mom started getting weird phone calls from the owner of an anarchist bookstore in Boston who wanted to buy rolling pins.