The Pants

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

Dear Mr. __________,

The Lincoln High School Class Of 1985’s 30 Year Reunion is coming up fast! We are happy to learn that you will be attending the celebration, and we look forward to hearing all the fun stories you surely have.

On behalf of LHS’ administration, the reunion committee and several of your fellow graduates, we must ask that you not wear the ugly red pants you wore to the 1985 Homecoming Dance. Obviously, this event was, and likely remains, an embarrassing topic, and we all must learn to let go of the past, but we must insist that this unsightly garment not be displayed at the upcoming gathering.

Those pants were ghastly, and, for many years, friends and strangers alike questioned your judgement for choosing to wear such plainly offensive patterns and colors in public. We likely cannot be the first to mention this to you.

Despite your subsequent success as an attorney, astronaut and stage hypnotist, there are denizens of Lincoln who still refer to you as “The Pants.”

Please exercise proper judgement, and don’t forget to have a great time!

Sincerely yours,

David Fonebone

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