The Theme From “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.”

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

I have the theme to The Mary Tyler Moore Show stuck in my head.

“Who can turn the world on with her smile?”

OK, they couldn’t bring in the Remotec ANDROS F6A because of electrical irregularities on this block, which means we have to take this fucking thing out by hand.

Somebody planted a pipe bomb under the front axle…

“Who can turn the world on with her smile?”

Nonono. OKOKOK. Back to this. Somebody planted a pipe bomb under this guy’s car. I don’t know who or why. I’m just here to get the pipe bomb into the mobile containment unit.

“Who can take a nothing day…”

Nononononono! OKOKOKOKOKOKOK! Enough with The Mary Tyler Moore. I have a pipe bomb to neutralize. So, I got the suit and the shields and it’s you girl and you should know…

Oh Fuck! NO! NONONONONONONO! OKOKOKOKOK! We can’t use the water cannon for fear that it will push the pipe bomb up into the engine, disturbing the integrity and structure of the bomb and causing it to explode. If I can get a good look at the thing with the mirror then we’re gonna make it after all.

That’s it! That’s it! Mr. Grant!

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