Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“Oh, your bumper sticker says ‘Hendricken Hawks.’”

“Yeah. My son goes to Bishop Hendricken.”

“I thought it said ‘I Hate Hawks.’”

“Nope. Hendricken. My son goes there.”

“I love hawks. I go out to the bike path on weekends and look at them. There’s a red tailed hawk.”

“Sounds great!”

“Yeah. I love hawks. I saw your bumper sticker. I thought it said, “I Hate Hawks.’ I was like, “What the fuck is wrong with this guy?’”

“Nope. I doesn’t.”

“Yeah, I was like, ‘This guy hates hawks. He probably hasn’t even seen a hawk. Fuck this guy.’”


“Yeah, I was, like, getting all worked up.”

“To do what?”

“I saw your bumper sticker. I thought it said…”

“Yeah, I know what you thought it said. You said that already. You were getting all worked up to do what?”

“I was gonna say something to you.”

“Looks like you already did, fucker.”

“Hey, look…”

“Fuck you, ‘hey, look.’ You come up to me and tell me about how uptight you are about a fucking bumper sticker and then it turns out the fucking bumper sticker you’re uptight about doesn’t exist.”

“I love hawks, man. I thought you hated hawks.”

“Maybe I do hate hawks. Maybe hawks suck cock at the bus station.”

“Calm the fuck down, man.”

“Where can I get bumper stickers printed up?”

One thought on “Hawks

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