Gay Hi Ho!

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

She was 16 years old, with a shaved head and cluster of silver piercings in her bottom lip. T-shirt with a picture of Patti Smith on it. She’d been Minus 24 Years Old when Horses first came out.

Speaking of coming out, she was gay. I was likely the first person she had told – apart from her girlfriend, who went to a different school. She told me she was confused; she wasn’t even sure how to be gay.

I told her to try Gay Hi Ho! Gay Hi Ho was when you stood on your front yard and shouted “Gay Hiii Hooooo” at the top of your voice like Nelson Eddy in one of those Canadian Mountie movies. You’d listen and, after a few seconds, you’d hear someone in the distance return with “Gay Hiiii Hooooooooooooo!” That meant you had met your partner.

A few months later, she told her parents about this, and they called an attorney. That’s how I lost my job as a guidance counselor. Now, I work in a porn store that also sells right wing stuff.

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