This Blows.

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“I quit college.”

“Why?”

“I wasn’t learning anything.”

“Where’d you go?”

“Princeton.”

“You didn’t learn anything at Princeton?”

“Nothing I didn’t already know.”

“I’m still in school.”

“Where?”

“East Tennessee State.”

“Hm.”

“Did you end up learning anything?”

“What?”

“You quit school because you weren’t learning anything. Did you end up learning anything after you quit school?”

“I moved to San Francisco. Drove out there with these rappers from Puerto Rico. They were wicked Marxists. They had a squat with all these books in it. I ended up there for a long time. Read a lot of Alain Badiou and Guy Debord. I love Guy Debord. We used to throw rocks at cops. I drove up to Alaska and lived in a tent. Every morning, I would get up and sing, to let the bears know I was there. The bears got to know me and I got to known them. I would talk to them about Guy DeBord and Kim Gordon and Kathleen Hanna. After a while, I think they got it. Those bears.”

“Great. I’ll have an iced venti vanilla chai.”

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