You Gotta Hear This One Song. It’ll Change Your Life, I Swear.

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

“What’s that tattoo?”

“Which tattoo? There’s plenty.”

“Yellow and black.”

“That’s Stryper. To hell with the devil.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in God.”

“I don’t. They do.”


“Stryper. They were a rock band that believed in God, so they wrote all these terrible, awesome songs about God and wore matching outfits.”

“Were they good or bad?”

“They were amazing. They were so unbelievably insane and bombastic that they were amazing.”

“I thought you didn’t like Smashing Pumpkins.”

“I hate Smashing Pumpkins.”

“Then why don’t you get a tattoo of Smashing Pumpkins?”

“It’s not like that. Stryper are terrible, but there’s so terrible that they’re amazing. Smashing Pumpkins are just terrible.”

“What other terrible bands to you have tattoos of?”

“Well… there was a band called Atom & His Package.”

“Mom talks about them.”

“Yeah. She knew the guy. He was this super dork guy, and he would make punk rock albums that were like… all wrong.”

“You have a tattoo of him?”

“Yeah. On my foot.”

“Does he have a lot of records?”

“Not lately, no. He got sick for a while. Then he stopped making music.”

“You must be really mad.”


“This guy made these records and you got a tattoo of him. Now he stopped making records and you’re stuck with the tattoo.”

“That’s not how I choose to see it.”

“Mom knows him?”


“You ever call him up and say, ‘Hey, I got a tattoo of you. Where the hell are you? Why did you stop making records?’”

“No. That’s none of my business.”

“You got a tattoo of him. It’s forever.  It’s your business.”

“Well, he didn’t want to make music, anymore. No-one should make him.”

“I don’t want to go to yoga with mom, anymore. It sucks. You don’t have a tattoo of Mom doing yoga, so…”

“Listen. We’re done. When you’re old, you can not get all the tattoos you want.”

“I won’t.”


“I want ice cream. Let’s stop at Ben & Jerry’s.”

“You’ve had enough ice cream for today.”

“Why should I listen to you? I mean… seriously. Why?”

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