Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.
The Lord descended unto The Earth, which he had made, and he wore a t-shirt that read “You’re In For It Now, Shitbags.” And he released the murderers from the prisons and he told them to chase down the loiterers and to kill them. And when the loiterers were all dead, The Lord said that the loiterers’ families should be put on stakes for not keeping on eye on what the loiterers were doing at three o’clock in the afternoon when respectable people were trying to go about their business. And the academics and the atheists stood before The Lord in their vegan shoes, and they thrust their fingers at The Lord and demanded to know why evil existed in the world and why their startup had failed in 2000 and why children developed pancreatic cancer. And The Lord called them ‘shitbags’ and cast a plague of gnus upon them which the academics and the atheists complained about bitterly in The Huffington Post. And the academics and the atheists were cast into slavery and made to toil for the fans of The Insane Clown Posse who had taken up in The Valley Of The King Of The Burgers. The Lord declared that no good music was created in the year 1998 and he cast Slint into the pit.