Burnside Ravine Daily Report 6/16/15

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

Burnside Ravine Daily Report 6/16/15

9:00 AM – Site opened by Rangers MOBLEY & ADDERLEY.

9:15 AM – Two visitors report that A HIPPIE has been sighted in the area. Also, extensive littering in the area surrounding Crackpot Cave.

10:15 AM – Litter patrol.

10:45 AM – VIC reports evidence of ‘Satanic Activity’ near Aram Pothier Memorial Sycamore.

10:55 AM – Investigation of ‘Satanic Activity’ yields a damaged Sit N’ Spin on which someone has written the words “Bitchz Be Shoppin!” in Magic Marker.

11:15 AM – VIC returns to ask about progress into investigation. Becomes agitated when shown the Sit N’ Spin.

12:00 PM – 12:30 PM – Lunch

12:35 PM: MAN MATCHING DESCRIPTION OF HIPPIE stops by ranger station to ask about the local gnome population. He takes several maps and pamphlets.

12:39 PM: MRS. HARDAWAY reports that her mynah bird, ACES, has learned two new racial epithets. Stays for about an hour.

1:15 PM: Ranger MOBLEY issues verbal warning to high school age boys participating in a urination for distance contest near the Falstaff Bridge.

1:35 PM: ROY comes out of the closet, again. Returns rake.

2:25 PM: Word from visitors’ center that HIPPIE is trapped in a pine tree and must be dislodged. Ranger Adderley fills out requisition form for a broom.

3:25 PM: Ranger ADDERLEY returns with broom. HIPPIE eventually came down from tree under own power.

3:35 PM: MAN asks if he can post anti-Catholic flyers in the kiosk. Instructed to return tomorrow after closing.

3:45 PM: SAME MAN returns with similar request regarding self-published book about Kennedy assassination.

3:55 PM: ROY retracts previous statement.

4:15 PM – 4:30 PM: Cigarette smoking contest near the vending machine. Louis declared victor.

4:30 PM – MAN FROM WATER & POWER DEPARTMENT declares “all is lost.”

5:00 PM – Site closed by Rangers MOBLEY and ADDERLEY.

2 thoughts on “Burnside Ravine Daily Report 6/16/15

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