Major League Umpires Strike

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

Batman refused to answer the Batphone. Superman was at The Fortress Of Solitude. Wonder Woman was griping on all the talk shows. Green Lantern… who the fuck knew where he was? Green Arrow was likely high. The Martian Manhunter, who always had trouble with directions around Metropolis, wound up at The Weekly Planet Building, which was across town.

Lex Luthor was threatening to tip over The Daily Planet Building using his nefarious Anti-Gravity Truss. Brainiac had filled the first floors with some clear green fluid that caused hideous mutations to occur in whoever encountered the stuff. Gorilla Grodd was brachiating through the hallways, vowing to fuck Perry White on the building’s ledge. Captain Cold had ruined all the coffee.

Vomit Boy, one of the scab superheroes, was corralling the terrified secretaries into the copy room for their own safety. He’d already taken a sound thrashing from Bouncing Boy for daring to cross picket lines, and his swollen eyes and torn costume failed to inspire the young ladies.

“What are you going to do?” asked a frightened woman.

“When?” responded Vomit Boy, his jaw aching.

“When Radiation Roy comes in here to incinerate you?”

Vomit Boy tilted his chin to the ceiling. Just as his social worker had told him, his entire life had been leading up to this very moment.

”I’ll vomit,” he intoned.

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