Land Of 1,000 Gnomes!

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes. Here is what I came up with. I hope you like it.

The Landlord kicked the apartment door open!

”What the hell is this?”

Alec K Redfearn dashed around the apartment, swatting tiny bearded men with a rolled-up newspaper as they scattered across the rug.

“Blast it,” exclaimed Alec K Redfearn, “I was working on my esoteric systems and I accidentally invoked all these damned gnomes!”

“Gnomes,” repeated The Landlord with incredulity.

“Yeah. These little guys with the red hats and the beards. They’ve been tear-assing around the place for 15 minutes.”

“A veritable infestation!”


“Hey, Big Guy,” asked a gnome. “Can we borrow your ID?”

With the reflexes of a striking cobra, Alec did smite the tiny abomination with the periodical. The wee beastie erupted like a blood blister.

“I’ve got to corral these chumps fore’n my old lady returns from tap class.”

“I’ve an idea,” declared The Landlord, gesticulating like a madman. “We’ll leave a great stein of beer in the center of the room. When the thirsty gnomes gather ‘round, we’ll perforate them with my shotgun, ruining the carpet!”


“Now,” instructed The Landlord. “Remove that elaborate ceremonial headpiece and swing by the packy.”

The Landlord handed Alec K Redfean a bag of silver.

“Did you lose this,” The Landlord asked.

“My bag of silver!  Great!  Hey, gimmie some money from the liquor store.”

At that very moment, deceased German silent film actress Brigitte Helm emerged from within a swirling cone of gray mist.

“I might not be able to drive, so good,” she shouted, “but I know that Guy Benoit is a national treasure!”

2 thoughts on “Land Of 1,000 Gnomes!

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