The forces of S.N.O.R.T. had been posting increasingly inflammatory remarks on the Unofficial ‘Dilbert’ FB page.
The forces of S.N.O.R.T. had surreptitiously lobbied to have Zippy banned from trivia night at Comix n’ Collectibles.
The forces of S.N.O.R.T. had stuffed a potato wrapped inside a mean note into the tailpipe of Zippy’s Honda Civic, causing the vehicle to stall at inopportune moments. A bewildered Zippy had to take the car to secret headquarters, where the mechanics discovered the offending tuber. Consequently, both the men at the shop and the forces of S.N.O.R.T. began referring to Zippy as “The Governor Of Idaho.”
Zippy rented several sticks of dynamite with the intention of returning them after decimating S.N.O.R.T.’s lair, which also doubled as Rudy’s Mom’s tool shed.
Zippy rang the doorbell at Rudy’s Mom’s house.
“Hello, Robert,” said Rudy’s Mom. “Rudy’s not here. They’re having a tournament at the pizza parlor.”
Zippy, who made it a point to avoid pleasantries and eye contact, swiftly disappeared.
He secured the explosives under the front step of the tool shed, which was situated exactly 221 feet away from the house. S.N.O.R.T.’s valuable hard drives would be destroyed, but the members would remain uninjured.
Following the instructions carefully, and noticing some syntax errors between the Mandarin and English versions, Zippy depressed the plunger.
The molten ashes burnt tiny craters into Zippy’s eyeglasses.
He returned home.
Had the near-vibratory ringing in his ears not been present, he would have heard his mother ask, “Robert, have you been exacting revenge, again?”