Big Dave The Yeti

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes.  Here is what I came up with.  I hope you like it.

Big Dave worked part time at Starbucks.  He was eight feet tall and covered in layers of impenetrably thick white fur.  His arms hung down almost to his knees.  His mouth, roughly the size of a small door, was guarded by terrifying rows of sharp teeth, as well as two demonic fangs that jutted upward from his lower jaw.  He was close to 300 years old.

A few years ago, professors from MIT stopped by our Starbucks.  This was right about the time I started working there.  They were nice enough guys, but seemed distracted and uptight.  We chalked it up to their being overeducated.

They asked Dickie, the manager, if Starbucks would be willing to hire, on a part-time basis, a visitor to their institute from The Himalayas.  Seems that MIT’s distinguished guest was getting bored hanging around campus, and they were looking for something with which to keep him occupied.  Dickie, being a real starfucker kind of guy, agreed immediately.

Big Dave was too, well, big to fit into a regulation uniform, or, for that matter, the building itself.  For his first few days with the company, he spent most of his time brachiating around the storefront, howling.  Once, the MIT professors showed up in a van, and attempted to stuff Big Dave into a giant wooden crate with an address printed on it.  Big Dave tore one of their arms off, which meant the health department had to shut us down for two days to conduct an inspection.  I got moved to the Jamaica Plain location for a bit.

Most of our crew got along with Big Dave; which is to say, he never attacked anyone.  He had a big soft white tummy that was about the size of a modest dining room table.  At the end of the shift, we’d feed him all the leftover grounds and paper cups.  In the evenings, Big Dave would sleep on the roof, awakening before dawn to terrorize the food co-op near Mass Ave.  For a long while, he dragged their bicycle rack around with him as a sort of trophy.

What with the winter storms coming, Big Dave should be emerging from hibernation.  Try not to leave any food in your car, overnight.

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