Anglo Necro

Below you will find the results of my having challenged myself for a number of days to write a short story with a beginning and middle and an end inside of 30 minutes.  Here is what I came up with.  I hope you like it.

The Bullingdon Club, at the Ambrose Burnside University, prided itself on its devotion to tradition.  The members spoke with makeshift English accents and held Goon Show listening parties that were open to the public, but were usually attended by other members of The Bullingdon Club.

Huddled in the flat fields of Indiana, Ambrose Burnside had little in common with Oxford University, the home of the original, raucous Bullingdon Club.  ABU was founded in 1969 as an agricultural school, but had a strong military history department that was, unusually, geared towards young men who were unwilling or unable to enlist.  It claimed a full-year/two semester course dedicated entirely to playing RISK, as well as two rival factions of the Society for Creative Anachronism.

Ginge Pierpont, a second generation Burnsidean, was infamous on campus for his Burberry trench coat and his withering barbs, delivered in an Englishesque accent appropriated in equal measure from Rupert Giles and John Cleese’s character in Clockwise.   He hosted no less than four programs on WABU:  a Blake’s 7 phone-in show; aPrisoner phone-in show; a Black Books phone-in show; and “Tadpoles,” the only radio ‘programme’ in America dedicated exclusively to the music and antics of Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band (“Tadpoles” had actually been originated by Gary, Ginge’s father, in the mid-1970s.)

Ginge had been asked by members of a LGBT group to read some public service announcements about sex safe on his ‘programme.’  These were intended to help incoming freshman feel a bit more comfortable in their new surroundings.

Ginge mispronounced ‘chlamydia,’ twice, and made some “I Say!” jokes about genital warts.

A week later, there was no longer a radio ‘programme’ dedicated exclusively to the music and antics of Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band on American radio.

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